


Behind Closed Doors

by shslducktective



Series: Salmon Fishing [1]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Agender Character, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Arguing, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, Friendship, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Misgendering, Other, Swearing, basically everyone is rude to k1-b0, implied k1-b0/miu, implied maki/kirumi if you really really really squint, takes place in prison mode i guess, tenko tries to support him but she doesn't know how to do it properly, why did i write 4k words of this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 10:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12680253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shslducktective/pseuds/shslducktective
Summary: Maki doesn't know why Kaito and Shuichi have been spending so much time without her recently, but she wants answers. Tenko and Himiko try to help. K1-B0 and Kirumi actually help, but no one ever listens to the robot.





	Behind Closed Doors

**Author's Note:**

> why is this so fucking long?? this was supposed to be no more than 2K words but here we are with a 4K fic,,
> 
> ah i should mention that K1-B0 is the agender character. i love that one pool scene in chapter two. tenko and K1-B0 are definitely pals even if she doesn't quite understand him. also tenko and maki's mutual respect for each other in chapter three makes me really want them to be friends.

 “Miss Harukawa! You wanted to speak with Tenko, right?”

 Maki nodded in response to Tenko’s question. She had never been the type to reach out to her friends for advice — hell, she had no experience with friendship besides her childhood friends from the orphanage — but there was something amiss in her life that she just couldn't get off her mind. It was starting to keep her up at night, so she felt the need to confide in _someone_ about it. Normally, she would consider going to Kaito or Shuichi before anyone else, with those two being her best friends and all. Unfortunately, this specific issue was centered around Kaito and Shuichi, so there was no way she could ask them for advice on a problem they were most likely causing.

 “Nyeh… I thought you said this was a date,” Himiko whined.

 Himiko and Tenko had been sitting on a bench in the courtyard for around half an hour now. A box of creme-filled donuts, which Kirumi had prepared for the two girls that morning upon Tenko's request, was resting on Tenko's lap. Like anything that Kirumi prepared, the box was elaborate, white cardstock trimmed with black lace and embellished with painted roses. Himiko was nibbling on a donut that was — from what Maki could tell, at least — equally elaborate, frosted with white chocolate and decorated in sugary rose decals. It was hard to tell exactly how beautiful the donut had been at one point when most of the frosting was smeared across Himiko's childlike face.

 Maki decided that she needed to try one of Kirumi’s donuts at some point. Maybe the Ultimate Maid could even teach her a thing or two about cooking and baking. After all, someone like Maki had never gotten the chance to learn. …No, that was wishful thinking. Kirumi had no reason to teach someone like Maki. A person who worked so diligently for the sake of others had no reason to help someone with bloodied hands and a cold heart…

 “It _is_ a date! But Miss Harukawa asked me for advice, so there was no way Tenko could say no! Girls have to help each other out, isn't that right? And what's a date without a third wheel?” Tenko insisted. Maki was pretty sure Himiko had zoned out after the first few words.

 “...Nyeh. I only came for the donuts,” Himiko mumbled.

 Maki could tell that Himiko was bluffing in an attempt to hide her irritation, but she didn't say anything. Tenko was obviously unable to discern this and looked hurt, but she pretended to ignore the Ultimate Magician's remark.

 “I can leave. It isn't that big of a deal, and I'd rather not be a burden,” Maki sighed, turning to walk away. Before she could leave, however, Tenko grabbed the hem of her sleeve in an attempt to convince her to stay.

 In an instant, Maki whipped around to face the bench again, her pigtails nearly slapping Tenko with the momentum.

 “Do you want to die?”

 Tenko yelped, immediately releasing her hold on the Ultimate Assassin's sleeve. “N-No, of course not! My apologies, Miss Harukawa! Tenko just wanted to be helpful!”

 Maki paused, fiddling with her pigtails in well-concealed embarrassment. “I'm sorry, too. That's a bad habit.”

 “It's okay! Tenko understands!” the Ultimate Aikido Master responded with all the enthusiasm in the world. She sure knew how to recover quickly. “So, what's troubling you?”

 “Well,” Maki began, exhaling deeply. “Kaito and Shuichi have been… uh, they haven't been ignoring me, really. They still talk to me during meals and any time I see them around, and they've been extra nice to me recently. It's weird. …But they never ask me to hang out with them anymore, even though they're always together. It's making me wonder… nevermind.”

 “Making you wonder what? If they hate you?” Himiko suggested.

 “Miss Yumeno! Don't say things like that!” Tenko gasped, horrified.

 Maki gave Himiko a terrifying stare that made Himiko start to sweat in fear, but the Ultimate Assassin's gaze softened once she looked away. Staring at the ground, she seemed uncomfortably vulnerable.

 “Yes, actually,” Maki confessed. “Well, not that I think they would ever _hate_ me. …But I wonder if they don't like me as their friend anymore, or if they've finally realized they should be scared of me.”

 Tenko stood and started ranting. “Nonsense! They’re just acting the way typical degenerate males do. There's no way anyone in their right mind could ever be scared of that adorable face, so there must be another reason! Degenerates will be degenerates, after all. Do you think they're plotting something?”

 Instead of replying, Maki drilled her eyes into Tenko's soul with a more terrifying glare than the one she had given Himiko. Tenko squeaked and went back to sitting on the bench. With just one look from the Maki, the martial artist had been reduced to a sweating mess, just like the shorter girl beside her.

 “M-Maybe they're plotting to use magic to take over the world!” Himiko suggested with a mouthful of donut. The fact that her face was covered in sweat and white frosting made it even more impossible to take her seriously than usual.

 “Ridiculous,” Maki mumbled.

 “Miss Yumeno is not ridiculous! But I don't think those degenerates could ever be smart enough to use magic like you can,” Tenko swooned in the self-proclaimed mage's direction. Maki rolled her eyes. This conversation was getting nowhere.

 “Do either of you have any realistic idea why Kaito and Shuichi are spending so much time without me? If not, I have better things to do than stand around and listen to a couple of idiots.”

 “Nyeh…” Himiko muttered. “I would use my magic to divine the truth, but the sugar from these donuts has weakened my magical abilities.”

 That made absolutely no sense, but Maki didn't say anything.

 “Oh, poor Miss Yumeno! Fortunately, Tenko has an answer!” Tenko nearly shouted. “Mister Saihara and Mister Momota are both males, so I believe they're plotting to take control over all the girls in the academy! That would explain why they won't ask you to hang out with them anymore! They don't want you to find out that they're secretly planning on turning on you!”

 Maki blinked. Was Tenko really that ignorant? “Stupid. They're not planning to take control of anyone. Kaito and Shuichi are… good people, I guess.”

 Tenko shook her head with stubborn vehemence. “Miss Harukawa, you can't allow yourself to fall prey to their deceptive behavior! They want you to think you can trust them, but they're going to turn on you in the end!” Her face wrinkled into something ugly. “All degenerate males will betray you. You should leave them and be friends with us instead. Tenko will protect you! And Miss Yumeno will help with her magic!”

 “Nyeh… I will?”

 Maki clenched her fists. “Frankly, I don't think I can handle hanging out with you two any longer. You're exhausting, and Kaito and Shuichi would… never do anything… like that, anyway.”

 “Gah, it's scary seeing how much they've brainwashed you! Tenko needs to do something, but what should Tenko do?” the Ultimate Aikido Master ranted, mostly to herself.

 “Excuse me for intruding, but is there any way I could possibly help?”

 The three girls turned to see who had just posed that question. Standing behind them was none other than the Ultimate Robot, K1-B0. His expression displayed obvious confusion, which was unsurprising considering he had just inserted himself into the conversation and offered advice without knowing what he was getting into.

 “Keebo? What's a robot doing in the courtyard? Shouldn't you be in the computer lab or something?” Himiko inquired. Her questions were incredibly rude, but they were asked with no trace of intentional rudeness, somehow.

 “I do not appreciate your prejudiced inquiries! Just because I am a robot does not mean I enjoy being around computers!” K1-B0 insisted, clearly offended. “However, if you must know, Miss Iruma asked me to meet her, so I was heading to her talent lab.”

 “Shouldn't you be going, then?” Maki bit out.

 K1-B0 winced. “I stopped because I wanted to help everyone! Do you think my assistance is insufficient because I am a robot?”

 “No, of course not, Keebo!” Tenko chirped. “We appreciate your help!’

 Himiko made a face that conveyed an odd mixture of confusion and irritation.

 “I never said he could help,” Maki murmured.

 Tenko took a quick breath of confidence and stepped forward, narrowing the gap between herself and the Ultimate Assassin. She was smiling kindly despite said assassins glower. K1-B0 backed up apprehensively.

 “It's okay, Miss Harukawa. You can trust him. Keebo is a nice robot.”

 “A person,” K1-B0 corrected, but he regretted speaking as soon as Maki's glare briefly flickered its focus from the Ultimate Aikido Master to the Ultimate Robot himself. If he possessed a heartbeat, it would have pounded furiously enough to turn his chest into a vibrator until Maki diverted her eyes back to Tenko.

 It felt like an hour before Maki's expression finally softened in relent. She briskly nodded at the martial artist, signaling that she would allow K1-B0 to participate in the conversation. Tenko's face brightened in response, removing herself from Maki's personal space to return to usual spot by Himiko's side. K1-B0 seemed infinitely relieved to be accepted as a part of the group, and the happiness that spilled across his face when Tenko patted his shoulder plate was wholly immeasurable.

 “I guess I have to explain again,” Maki sighed. With a slight shrug, she began to restate her predicament so K1-B0 could understand.

 As she spoke, the Ultimate Robot clenched his fists and stared at the ground. It would have been easy to mistake him as being upset, but he was really just focusing. K1-B0 certainly had a tendency to seem angry when he was deep in thought, or so the girls noticed.

 “So, you believe Mister Momota and Mister Saihara are avoiding spending time with you for some particular reason, but you are uninformed of that reason?” K1-B0 summarized once Maki had finished speaking.

 Maki nodded. All three girls directed their attention to the Ultimate Robot, wondering what reasoning someone like him could possibly come up with. There was a lengthy gap of silence — a gap filled by K1-B0’s intense train of thought, Tenko’s encouraging smiles, Maki’s usual glowering, and Himiko’s bored sighing.

 “I believe I have reached a possible conclusion,” K1-B0 finally spoke. “According to my informational database, it is not unusual for a person in a three-way friendship to feel isolated if the other two persons in the group are engaging in romantic or sexual behavior. If Mister Momota and Mister Saihara are participating in such behaviors and hiding them from you, it would explain your confusion, I think.”

 More awkward silence. The three girls glanced at each other with partially questioning, partially disgusted faces.

 “You're trying to tell me that Shuichi and Kaito are fucking behind my back,” Maki rephrased with a blank expression. It wasn't a question.

 “I believe it is realistically possible that they are having sexual intercourse in secret, yes,” the Ultimate Robot confirmed.

 Tenko's face crinkled in abhorrence, and Maki appeared to be seething. Himiko simply furled her lip and sneered, “You're pretty perverted for a robot.”

 K1-B0 flushed and balled his fists in front of his torso defensively. “I am _not_ perverted! I am just offering a possible explanation!” he insisted.

 “Do you want to die?” Maki asked. Tenko, Himiko, and K1-B0 feared one more wrong move would be enough to make her blood boil. If that happened, they knew it would probably be the end for everyone involved in this ridiculous conversation.

 As a result, the shrieking noise K1-B0 made in response to Maki's question was nothing short of humiliating.

 “Y-Your theory is still dumb. Momota's too stupid to get laid, and there's no way he'd ever w-want to…” Himiko shuddered and started blushing. “...do sexual things with another guy.”

 “I never said their behavior had to be sexual!” the robot tried to argue, but it was no use.

 “Nyeh… It still makes no sense,” Himiko groaned. “They're probably using magic to look at dirty pictures of girls. Maybe they're spying on the girls so they can get off to pictures of us later. And m-maybe you're in on it, too! Maybe the real reason why you came up with such a dumb theory is because you want us to fall over in shock so you can take panty shots of us! You are a boy after all. I bet you're working with them.”

 “I am not even a boy!” K1-B0 shouted, but no one was even paying attention to him anymore. After all, whenever Himiko hopped on one of her utterly illogical trains of thought, there was no turning back. Unfortunately, Tenko tended to jump aboard these ridiculous theory trains with Himiko in an attempt to win her favor. Despite the impending crash that clearly lay ahead, Maki was unusually silent.

 “Is what Miss Yumeno saying the truth, Keebo!?” Tenko gasped. Her expression was struck with ridiculous terror. “Did the degenerates really convert you to their gross cause!?”

 “No! Of course it is not true!”

 “He's lying, duh,” Himiko mumbled.

 “Enough. This is so ridiculous,” Maki interjected. She was still heated, but the girls noticed that she seemed considerably agitated. Perhaps she had been performing breathing exercises and calming her nerves while the other three were arguing, the two other girls observed. K1-B0, on the other hand, was unable to observe this. As soon as Maki's voice reminded him of her presence, he flinched in fear, assuming she was still about to commit a murder from sheer exasperation.  

 “If they're supposedly spying on us, then why don't _we_ just spy on _them_ to see if it's true or not?” Maki continued.

 “And stoop the level of degenerate males?!” Tenko retorted, taking a defensive stance.

 “Fine, then. Himiko, Keebo, and I will investigate. You can watch the donuts,” Maki huffed.

 “Who said I wanted to investigate?!” K1-B0 whined.

 “Nyeh, I don't really care what they're up to, either…” Himiko admitted. “But _you_ have to tag along.” The so-called mage pointed at the Ultimate Robot. “You're still suspicious.”

 With perfect timing, Miu Iruma's obnoxious voice suddenly bounced around the courtyard, interrupting the conversation.

 “Hey, slut! I thought I told ya to meet me in my lab! I've been waiting for ten fucking minutes, and you're standing over there yaking with a bunch of other girls?! I'm not in the mood for an orgy, so why don't you hurry the fuck up, you asshole?!”

 The metal plates on K1-B0’s face burned. Even the robot himself had no trouble understanding that what he was feeling was an extreme case of embarrassment. With obvious signs of panic, he bowed to Himiko, Tenko, and Maki apologetically and then started to walk backwards.

 “Excuse me, everyone. I believe Miss Iruma is addressing me, and it would be unwise to make her any more upset than she already is.”

 If the students lingering in the courtyard could agree on anything, it was that. With quick nods, they excused K1-B0. Seconds later, he was chasing after the Ultimate Inventor with a million apologies spilling from his metal lips. The three girls watched in silence, unable to decide whether the situation was amusing, pathetic, or both.

 “Maybe Momota and Saihara aren't the only ones doing lewd things together,” Himiko suggested with a smirk.

 “I thought we agreed that Mister Momota and Mister Saihara were _not_ having sex!”

 “I was joking.”

 “It doesn't matter,” Maki insisted with an edge to her voice. “I need to find out what's really going on with those two. You two can join me or not. It's up to you.”

 “Understood! Tenko will help you solve this mystery!”

 Himiko resisted the urge to point out that the Ultimate Aikido Master had been completely against the idea only a few minutes ago.

 “Nyeh… I guess that means I have to help, too,” the Ultimate Magician complained as she sagged her shoulders. Secretly, she was excited to have the chance to do something exciting and unusual like spying on a couple of boys. “...Maybe my magic can help.”

 Maki smiled ever so faintly. “Maybe. Let's go find them.”

* * *

 Two hours had passed, and the trio of girls had yet to find a sign of Kaito Momota and Shuichi Saihara’s mysterious whereabouts. They had searched everywhere they could think to look — the library, the AV room, the casino, the dining hall, the pool, the gym, the computer room, the school store, all of the classrooms, and both of their respective talent labs. Despite all this searching, not one of them had any idea where the two boys could possibly be.

 Tenko groaned and stomped her foot against the floor of the entrance hall. “How can those degenerates be so good at hiding?”

 “Nyeh. I'm so tired,” Himiko moaned, collapsing onto the floor. “I would use my magic to divine their location, but my legs are in too much pain.”

 “Shut up,” Maki growled, clearly fed up with the so-called mage's nonsensical comments.

 Despite the affront, Himiko allowed Maki to kneel beside her sprawled limbs. Maki wasn't tired, of course, but it felt good to sit down after being afoot all day. Only Tenko — energetic as ever — remained standing.

 “Where else could they possibly be?” the assassin sighed.

 “Pardon my interruption, but is there any way I could be of assistance?” a polite female voice asked. It was only after the voice spoke that Tenko, Himiko, and Maki noticed the Ultimate Maid standing beside them.

 “Oh, good. It's Kirumi, not the robot again. He's so useless,” the Ultimate Magician griped to no one in particular.

 Kirumi did not smile, but her expression conveyed some sort of affectionate patience. “I do not think Keebo is useless, as you say. It is in my nature as the Ultimate Maid to be more useful than the average person. I would not hold that against him. However, I am pleased to know that services are of use to you.”

 “...Of course. You're good at what you do,” Maki struggled to say, fiddling with her pigtails. She wasn't sure why she felt the need to praise Kirumi's talent, but she did. Maybe it was because Kirumi's talent was so much more honorable and respectable than her own. Kneeling beside Kirumi, she suddenly felt small. It was an unusual for the assassin to be looked down on in such a literal way, and something about the Ultimate Maid intimidated her in a way she couldn't quite explain.

 Kirumi smiled this time. It was an honest smile, subtle but sincere. “You have my thanks. Now, how may I help?”

 “You showed up at the perfect time, Miss Tojo!” Tenko exclaimed with a grin. “We've been looking for Mister Momota and Mister Saihara for hours, but there's no sign of them anywhere!”

 Kirumi’s brow furrowed in thought. As a maid, she would never consider asking invasive questions and had taught herself not to be curious about any given requests. However, that did not mean she was not an observant person. In fact, the opposite was true. In order to give the other girls a good lead, she simply had to recount her most recent observations and make sense of them. The motivation behind their search was insignificant to her.

 “Unfortunately, I do not know their exact location, but I have some information that may be of use in finding them,” Kirumi explained. “I finished cleaning everyone's unoccupied dorm rooms only half an hour ago. Before entering a room, I am sure to knock. If someone is occupying their room, I simply make a note to clean the room at a later time. When I knocked on the door to Mister Saihara's room, there was no response, and the room was unoccupied when I cleaned it. However, when I knocked on the door to Mister Momota's room, he responded by telling me that he was busy and unable to answer the door. If you are unable to locate Mister Saihara, perhaps he is with Mister Momota.”

 All three girls shared a look of mutual dread. There was no way Keebo could have been right, was there?

 After a long moment of silence, Maki finally spoke.

 “Thanks, Tojo. That’s really helpful.”

 The Ultimate Maid smiled again and bowed. “Your thanks is unnecessary. Now, if you would excuse me, I must begin the preparations for our evening meal.”

 “Of course! Tenko is really glad you helped us!” the Ultimate Aikido Master cheered.

 “I wish you success with your search,” Kirumi said, brisker than before, bowing again and leaving.

 “Nyeh. What are we gonna do now?” Himiko inquired, peeling the upper half of her body off the floor so she was sitting with her legs sprawled in front of her.

 “Tenko thinks the answer is simple! We break the door down and barge in on those degenerates!” the Ultimate Aikido Master shouted, balling her fists with fervor.

 “Just opening the door makes a lot more sense,” Maki remarked. “But Chabashira is right. We might as well just walk in on them, and if they're not up to anything suspicious, I'll… I'll confront them about how I feel, I guess.”

 She looked to the ground. Expressing her feelings was definitely not something the Ultimate Assassin was used to doing. She had been taught to deny and isolate her emotions ever since she was a child. That conditioning had led to an unhealthy habit of keeping everything bottled up inside and denying the internal pressure that she felt as a result. It was really difficult for her to break out of that habit, but Kaito and Shuichi had both encouraged her on separate occasions, telling her that she was making visible progress. Maybe confronting them would be further proof that she was changing as a person.

 Several minutes later, Maki, Tenko, and Himiko were standing in front of the door to Kaito's dorm room. The Ultimate Astronaut's pixelated likeness looked down on the three girls almost mockingly, like a children’s cartoon character mocking a supposedly “mature” grown-up for getting worked up over a silly matter.

 Maki was beyond nervous and intimidated. No way in hell did she want to admit how she felt, yet here she was. A few feet and a deep breath away from confronting her two best friends about an issue that probably had some sort of logical explanation, an explanation that would make all of her worries seem silly in retrospect. She hoped, at least.

 “Who's gonna open the door?” Himiko whispered quietly.

 “Tenko will!” the martial artist whispered back not-so-quietly, stepping forward.

 “No,” Maki bit out, “I will.” She approached the door, intercepting the Ultimate Aikido Master, and put her right hand on the doorknob. Deep breaths, Maki.

 With just one turn-and-push, this ridiculous manhunt would finally reach its climax, and all of the girls’ questions would be answered. Maki just needed to take action.

 That damn door better not be locked, or so the Ultimate Assassin silently remarked.

 Inhale.

 Exhale.

 With a turn of Maki's wrist and the force of her arm, the door began to open. Not locked. What a relief. However, it felt like a day of boring classes had passed before the door was finally open wide enough for the three girls to get a good look inside.

 Contrary to the girls’ expectations, there was no confused voice to interrogate them after opening the door. In fact, the room was quiet, and it seemed pretty unoccupied at first glance. On second glance, that was evidently not the case.

 Sticking their heads past the doorframe, the three girls were met with the worst, most unlikely, most embarrassing sight in the history of the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles.

 Kaito Momota was snoozing in his bed, visibly naked from the waist up, drooling onto the pillow beneath his head. Royal blue bedsheets shrouded the rest of his body, so it was impossible to tell if his lower half was also naked. Similarly, the left side of his body was covered by… something… as well. Rather, someone.

 Shuichi Saihara was also asleep, partially beside Kaito, partially on top of him. His pale, bare chest was pressed against Kaito's side, and his left arm was draped over the slightly darker skin of Kaito's torso. His head rested on the Ultimate Astronaut's left pectoral, messy blue hair grazing his neck. He was snoring — a soothing noise, somehow — with the faded remains of a smile still visible on his sleeping face. Going off Kaito's content expression, the snoring didn't seem to bother his… partner…?

 Maki Harukawa could not believe her eyes. Shuichi Saihara was half naked and using Kaito Momota's bare chest as a body pillow.

 This was truly the end of the world.

 Without a second thought, the Ultimate Assassin slammed the door shut and stormed down the staircase. Face as red as her ponytail holders and hair swirling around her form with some kind of dark energy, she was a terrifying sight to behold.

 “Keebo was right…” Tenko and Himiko murmured in unison.

 Maki whipped around. The two girls at the top of the staircase could have sworn that the energy her hair released as she turned to face them sent electric sparks through the air. Just like her pigtails, her crimson irises also seemed to reflect some kind of dark energy. Looking her in the eye was impossible now.

 “Keebo is _never_ going to find out. We will _never_ speak of this again.”

 Tenko and Himiko nodded. There was no doubt that keeping their mouth shut would be for the best. All they could do was pray to Angie's god and any other gods out there, pray that the Ultimate Astronaut and the Ultimate Detective wouldn't be found dead the next morning. If there was one thing this academy really didn't need to add to all the chaos, it was murder.

**Author's Note:**

> poor K1-B0 deserves so much better


End file.
